virtual ephemera

dcwhip:jasontheexploder: “All right everybody, for tomorrow I...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:41:00 -0500

“All right everybody, for tomorrow I want you to write a history poem on Hiroshima. But nothing too faaaaaggy.”

-Stephen Colbert, Strangers With Candy

OMG, ALL-TIME FAVORITE.

In my job, I spend a lot of time looking at what people actually type into search engines.

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:03:00 -0500

Today, I noticed this keyword, which has a surprisingly high search volume (meaning a lot of people actually search for these exact words):

“how hd is it to get into medical school”

I’m guessing if you can’t spell hard, your chances are slim.

Mona Lisa - Nat King Cole (via inothernews)

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:59:00 -0500

Mona Lisa - Nat King Cole

(via inothernews)

itsalwayssunny: (via alwayscarryalightbulb)

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:06:14 -0500

itsalwayssunny:

(via alwayscarryalightbulb)

kaytee: Nat King Cole - Smile Light up your face with...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:03:20 -0500

kaytee:

Nat King Cole - Smile

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

apsies: “So, I get so speak first while he stands and watches —...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:57:00 -0500

apsies:

“So, I get so speak first while he stands and watches — I love this!” Mrs. Obama said of her husband, to the chuckles of the mostly female audience in the East Room at the White House.

“Look at me adoringly!,” she told the president.

To which he responded: “I can do that …”

To which she said: “… with sincerity!”

(via Mrs.O)

whitehousephotostream: President Barack Obama and First Lady...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:55:22 -0500

whitehousephotostream:

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama dance together during the Governors Ball in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 21, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Michelle Obama is so fierce. Love her.

Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell perform “Lazy Sunday”...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:35:18 -0500

Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell perform “Lazy Sunday” live on Jimmy Fallon.

So that was my weekend.

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:41:43 -0500

What did I miss, Tumblr?

Also of note: I somehow convinced my husband to go parasailing...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:40:00 -0500

Also of note: I somehow convinced my husband to go parasailing despite his deathly fear of heights. He was quite brave, but he did not let go of the harness.

Absolut martini, dirty, three olives. Four days on a boat. One...

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:37:23 -0500

Absolut martini, dirty, three olives.

Four days on a boat. One day in the Bahamas. This is all you need to know.

In case you were wondering -- but you probably weren't.

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:09:48 -0500

Jon Stewart is #1.

dcwhip: It’s the birthday of This American Life host Ira Glass,...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:55:49 -0500

dcwhip:

It’s the birthday of This American Life host Ira Glass, born in Baltimore (1959), who started working in radio, by his own account, “totally by accident.” He was 19, had just finished his freshman year of college, and was looking for a summer job with an ad agency or a TV station. He searched all over Baltimore and couldn’t find anything, but someone at a rock ‘n’ roll station knew someone at NPR’s headquarters in Washington and gave Ira a phone number and said, “They’re kind of a new organization, so call.”

He managed to talk his way into an internship despite the fact he’d never once listened to public radio. He started out as a tape cutter and as a desk assistant, graduated from Brown University, and continued working for public radio as newscast writer, editor, producer of All Things Considered, reporter, and substitute host.

With each story he did, he would incorporate specific elements that would either play up his strengths or make him work on improving his weaknesses. He was a really good tape cutter, and he’d always put in a least one or two tape-to-tape transitions, where the story would go from one quote to the next without any intervening narration. He didn’t like the way he sounded on tape, and he invented a whole series of stories where he interviewed people and then cut himself out of the tape completely.

As he went on, he found that the most interesting stuff came out when the interviewer was chatting, seemingly casually, with the interviewee. Now he says: “If I had to give just one piece of advice to beginning reporters about the single-fastest way they could improve their stories, it’d be to get themselves into the quotes. Asking tough questions. Cajoling the interviewee. Joking with the interviewee. Thinking out loud.”

In 1995, he launched This American Life. In its first seasons, he managed to convince a lot of otherwise reluctant stations to carry his show because if they did, they could also use the entertaining pledge-drive skits that he created and produced, which always brought in lots of money for stations.

With This American Life, he’s done stories about babies switched at birth, about frenemies, and poultry, and mind games, and guns, and infidelity, and the devil, and highway rest stops, and credit default swaps.

Ira Glass said in a recent interview: “It’s hard to make something that’s interesting. It’s really, really hard. … Basically, anything that anyone makes. … It’s like a law of nature, a law of aerodynamics, that anything that’s written or anything that’s created wants to be mediocre. The natural state of all writing is mediocrity. It’s all tending toward mediocrity in the same way that all atoms are sort of dissipating out toward the expanse of the universe. … So what it takes to make anything more than mediocre is such an act of will. … That feels exactly the same now as it did the first week of the show.”

He’s the editor of an anthology called The New Kings of Nonfiction(2007).

Am I the only person under 30 who considers Ira Glass one of my top 10 celebrity crushes? I’ve always had a thing for older Jewish men. Is that weird?

Happy birthday, Ira Glass. Call me. My husband won’t mind.

I heard he watches it in the Situation Room with the Joint Chiefs.

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:00:52 -0500

Him: From the Onion: "President Obama's doctors hinted he may still be smoking, despite his efforts to quit. What do you think?" "I thought it was pretty obvious when they planted tobacco in the new White House organic garden."
Me: Honestly? I would say being inaugurated at this point in history probably tops the list of "worst possible times to quit smoking."
Him: Two wars, the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, trying to get health care legislation passed, keeping together his own feuding party, reforming the entire business sector... Yeah, sort of stressful.
Me: Plus, THE BACHELOR. I heard it was a really contentious finale last night.

Okay, so I guess THIS is the official video for “This Too...

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:25:07 -0500

Okay, so I guess THIS is the official video for “This Too Shall Pass” by OK Go! (and it’s amazing). But what about this marching band video? It’s also labeled the “official video” for the song. I am so confused.

This is my lunch. I am officially 10 years old and on a field...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:49:21 -0500

This is my lunch. I am officially 10 years old and on a field trip.

No apologies.

-Stan, sweetie, we’re gonna go to the mall. Do you want to...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:26:10 -0500

-Stan, sweetie, we’re gonna go to the mall. Do you want to come?

-Mom, the mall is a way for the corporate fat cats to imprison you into a life of servitude. I’ve got some stuff you should read.

-Okay, sweetie.

Weather forecast for the Bahamas next weekend. So far, so good.

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:17:13 -0500

Weather forecast for the Bahamas next weekend. So far, so good.

Sometimes I forget just how brilliant "South Park" could be.

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:13:23 -0500

When it was good, it was very very good.

For the past several days I’ve been noticing a steep rise...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:09:40 -0500

For the past several days I’ve been noticing a steep rise in the number of hippies coming to town. At first I thought maybe it was just a coincidence, but then I noticed this. Three new drum circles have sprouted up here, here, and here. They’re all growing in diameter at a rate of two hippies per hour. What this means is that the hippies are conglomerating. They’re binding, if you will. I think that they’re setting up for a … hippie music festival.

It’s simple science. When hippies start to nest in a new area, it draws other hippies in. With the right weather conditions, topography, it can lead to a music festival. One that lasts for days, even weeks. Reggae on the River, Woodstock, Burning Man. They would all pale in comparison to what we’re looking at now. In my professional opinion, I think we’re looking at a full-on hippie jam fest the size of which we’ve never seen.