“A British study revealed that, acoustically speaking, the sound of “many babies crying” lands in third place of the earth’s most noxious noises, tying with “horrible scraping” sound. Obviously, the evolution gods decided humans should do whatever it takes to make the crying stop. For me, the biggest roadblock to bearing a child was the immutable fact that babies are not returnable. Whenever I heard the faint sound of my biological clock ticking, I would just go shopping. Eventually I’d see some exasperated mom slapping her kids. That’s me, I’d think, after my husband leaves me. Such was the very definition of the life I did not want. My self-image was closer to an ex-pat writer living in a Paris garret than a woman waling on her kids at the big-box store.”

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A Baby: The Road Not Taken

I see myself having kids someday, my mom has always said it’ll be the last thing I tick off my to-do list and she is probably right. That said, these essays from the child-free are very interesting. I identify more with these women than the baby crazed moms I know.

(via apsies)

I felt that way for a long time. I thought, “Sure, I’ll have kids someday,” but I couldn’t envision myself actively wanting a baby. I can only speak from my own experience, but I will say that for me, meeting the right person changed that attitude. Shortly after meeting my husband, something clicked in my brain that said, “Yeah. I could have kids with this guy.” Not immediately, of course, but the reality certainly seemed more immediate than it ever had in the past.

Of course, this certainly doesn’t happen for all married people. Many couples remain happily childless. But I will say that I absolutely don’t believe it has to be one or the other. I reject the idea that having children will change who you are so completely that you instantly become an unhappy woman in an unhappy marriage who bitterly resents her children.

The adventure doesn’t necessarily end when you have a child. If you want to be an ex-pat writer living in Paris, who says you can’t do that with a child? I think people too often use children as a crutch when the truth is they’d be too afraid to live the lives they wanted even without kids.