-Hello, ma’am, I’m working to clean up the neighborhood from some parasites. Do you mind if I take a quick look around your house? I’m afraid you may have hippies.

-Hippies?

-Yeah, they’ve been popping up all over the neighborhood lately. Miss Nelson next door had seven hippies living in her basement, and they usually live in colonies. Hm, I don’t like the sound of that. Could I take a look in your attic?

Oh yeah. Take a look at this, ma’am. You see that? Hippies.

-Oh my.

-These are what we call the giggling stoners. A pretty common form of hippie. Usually found in attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there’s probably a whole lot more you’re not seeing. Where’s the backyard?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. You see that? You’ve got a drum circle in your backyard.

-Oh, they showed up a few days ago, but I didn’t think they were hurting anything.

- I had a guy in Jackson County. He had a little drum circle in his backyard. It turned into a drum circle four miles in diameter. You get a few hippies playing drums, and the next thing you know, you’ve got a colony.

-Oh dear. So what do I do?

-Well, your attic hippies we can probably fumigate. Your drum circle we’re gonna have to gas. Ma’am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your drum circle hippies right now or soon they’re gonna attract something much worse.

-What’s that?

-The college know-it-all hippies.