"How I Met Your Mother"

• Ted: Barney, the three days [before you call a girl] rule is completely insane. Whoever came up with that?
• Barney: Jesus.
• Marshall: Barney. Don’t do this. Not with Jesus.
• Barney: Seriously. Jesus started the whole “wait three days thing.” He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he’d waited only one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard that he died. They’d be all, “Hey, Jesus. What up?” And Jesus would probably be like, “ ‘What up?’ I died yesterday!” And then they’d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude.” And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle, and then they would be like, “OK... whatever you say, bro.” And he’s not going to come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s busy! Doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beards. No. He waits the exact right number of days: three.
• Ted: Okay, I promise I’ll wait three days. Just stop talking.
• Barney: Plus it’s Sunday! And everyone’s in church already. They’re all in there, “Oh no, Jesus is dead.” And then, bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched. And F.Y.I., that’s when he invented the high-five.