Dear Joe Biden,

If you don’t want to drink, that’s cool. I mean, it’s not like someone has to stay sober to be DD; that’s one of the many perks of drinking with the President. But booze isn’t everyone’s bag. I get that.

My question is, why drink some gross, watered down, non-alcoholic substitute for beer when we all know you really want something else? No one would look down on you if you went ahead and drank a Coke or a Diet Mountain Dew or even a Ginger Ale. Whatever floats your boat. But why drink the red-headed stepchild of beer? Why not just drink water or soda or even Tropical Punch Kool-Aid?

When you cave into peer pressure, Vice President Biden, the terrorists win. I hope you’ll consider my advice.

Sincerely,

Karen