The Onion: New Hampshire Passes Law Forcing Old People To Watch Gays Marry

“Beginning July 1, all senior citizens must publicly condone gay unions by RSVPing to the rainbow-colored invitation, putting on nice church clothes, and spending an afternoon celebrating the wedded bliss of two men or two women who like to have sex with each other,” bill H.B. 437 read in part. “Any grandparent who refuses to weep joyously when the grooms kiss may be subject to harsh penalties.”